Goodbye Is Not Forever, Forever Is Not Goodbye
by anna becker
Summary: Goodbyes are too final, she didn't like saying them or did she really have to. #13 in a Bellamy/ Boo series of one shots


**Goodbye Is Not Forever, Forever Is Not Goodbye**

 **The 100 One Shot # 13**

 **By: Anna Becker**

They had promised to be with each other in the end, no matter what. It had been tough but they were both survivors and together they knew that they could survive anything. But it seemed as if the universe had other plans. She wasn't going to make it. She was out of time but if her last breath meant saving him she would go to hell and back to make sure it happened. The death wave was literally breathing down their necks. They were down to minutes. Minutes before the world literally imploded. It was bitter sweet to know that they had fought and survived for so long to get to the ground and now they were destined to return back to the sky. Their journey was just beginning while here was about to end. At least that's what she had thought.

She had just made it to the antenna that needed to be adjusted and pointed in the right direction for any of their wonderfully flawed plan to work. She had volunteered because she was the smallest which somehow made her the quickest. If anyone had even a small chance of making it back it was her. Bellamy had protested, for the simple fact that he thought that he could still keep her safe while Clarke insisted it should be her because she had a better chance considering she was now a night blood. Boo however hadn't given either of them a choice. She just took off running while the other two were still in the mists of their argument. Those two would get so much more accomplished if they would stop butting heads. Both were emotional in different ways where she herself was more of a clinical thinker. Make a plan, follow through. If it worked great! If not, well at least she tried.

As she had been running toward her goal one thought did stick in her head. She never said goodbye. Goodbyes were too final and she couldn't even turn around to see his response even when she heard him call her name. She had to make sure he lived and if anyone could convince him to get on that can rocket without her it was Clarke.

She was just about ready to climb the antenna when suddenly someone grabbed her arm pulling her around and ripping her grip from the ladder.

"What the hell!?" She demanded as Clarke turned to face her. "Clarke? What...? "

"You need to go! Now!" Boo tried to pull her back down but Clarke pushed her away. "He needs you Boo. More than he is willing to admit and you need him. He listens to you. If they are to survive he needs you right there." Tears were evident in both of their eyes.

"Clarke I can't leave you. There is no time to get back." Clarke gave her a little smile of encouragement.

"But you can. So go."

"Clarke, I can't leave you. " She was trying to do everything to convince her. Granted they weren't friends, far from it but that didn't mean she didn't care.

"Yes you can and you will because I'm staying. You and I both know he would never make it if he lost both of us. So go damn it!" Boo took a second and the two of them just watched one another. Reluctantly Boo finally bowed her head.

"May we meet again."

"May we meet again, Emi." Clarke added with a slight smile using her name for the first time ever." With one last look Boo sprinted through the forest still unsure if she would actually make it. The fear and guilt pushing her through. She didn't look back and finally broke the small hill letting out a small chuckle as the doors came into view. She ran right into them full force as they banged open.

Bellamy started by being angry that she had left. Angry that he didn't say good bye, angry that he hadn't told her just how much he needed her, how much he dare say, loved her. He was angry at her, angry at what was being handed to them but mostly at himself. Then the anger turned to worry, worry that he wouldn't be able to make any of this work. But he had to try. For everyone's sake, he had to try. Next his worry turned to sorrow because he knew he was about to lose both of his girls. His best friend and the girl he loved. He had barely a chance to go after Boo when Clarke had stepped in saying. "I will get her." He didn't have time to register what had happened before both were gone but he knew what he had to do. Once everyone was inside and secure they had to leave. They were down to seconds. His eyes watched the door as he held the hatch open up until the very last second.

"Bellamy..." Raven's voice sounded behind him. She if all people knew how much Boo meant to him. She herself was fond of the small girl but if they were to survive at all they needed to go.

"A few more seconds, _please_." He answered desperately. The thought of leaving them, leaving her was more than he could bear.

"We don't..."

 **BANG**!

The doors to the launch bay swung open and Bellamy almost laughed in relief to see her face. Before anyone could say a word he dove out of the rocket and grabbed Boo by the arm hauling her in and practically throwing her to the floor just as the hatch was sealed.

"Cutting it a little close, aren't we Lil Boo? Where's Clarke?" He asked but all he got was a shake of the head. She was still in the process of trying to catch her breath. He felt sad for leaving her behind but relieved to have his Boo. He wanted to touch her and reassure her that everything was going to be alright. Instead he opted to getting her strapped in, in front of him. Yes it was a tight fit but he wanted her right there. He buckled them in and wrapped his arms right around her as the rocket launched into space. Their helmets clinked together but he held her gaze hoping his eyes relayed the message that lay within them. Unshed tears glistened in her eyes. He vowed then and there he would do whatever he could to keep this girl safe. It was going to be a long five years.

He looked out the window down at the burning earth below. They had made it, most of them anyway. Bellamy had a hole in his gut however for the simple fact he couldn't save everyone. True they had made it to what was left of the ARK, they had started to settle in but it felt wrong. His sister was trapped in a bunker while Clarke never made it. That was a loss for everyone. Something he needed to come to terms with but he had help. He glanced down at Boo's sleeping form. She was curled up on a small cot that was set up in the room. Often he would find her here just staring out at the stars. She wouldn't say much but he suspected that she blamed herself for Clarke. Something he wished he could take away. She stirred in her sleep and seemed to shoot up in surprise. He suspected it was another nightmare. He had noticed she had been having them more regularly. He approached her as if he was afraid she would be spooked.

"Hey, hey. Boo it's okay. It's just a dream." She looked around the room wide eyed until her eyes landed on him. She visibly relaxed and crawled into his waiting arms as he sat on the edge of the cot arms opened for her. He stroked her hair as she settled down and took a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't save her Bellamy." They had been through this before and no matter what he still couldn't convince her.

"Boo, listen to me." He pulled her away so that he could look into her eyes. "For the last time please stop blaming herself. You're not the only one who feels guilt over this but we both need to stop and survive because of it. We can't let her sacrifice be in vain." He brushed her hair from her face as she finally gave him a nod. He smiled at her gently. "Besides I don't think I could handle any of this if you weren't hair. She made a choice and gave you back to me." She returned his smile as she snuggled back into him.

"I knew I couldn't say good bye to you." She whispered quietly but he still heard it.

"Goodbyes are not forever Lil Boo." He kissed her forehead. She didn't answer because she had fallen back to sleep safely in his arms, right where she should be.

 **A/N Okay I may have teared up a little at the end but I was feeling a bit soppy. I guess it comes from a weekend of Hallmark movies lol. Anyway I thought I would celebrate the return of the 100 on Tuesday with yet another one shot. Let me know what you think. And like always thanks!**


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